so much pain

I cannot tolerate the idea of my mother being dead. I am trying my level best. But my mother is not. recovering. My elder brother are doing well. But iam not able to tolerate. I have lost a couple of kg weight. When I think, for last many days my mother even didn't exist in my life. 1 Phone call in the evening was all that used to connect us. I always used to feel disturbed by phone call. But I never thought that the idea of my mother getting separated will give me such pain. But I can not get out of it. I know mother is not going to live forever. But I cannot tolerate the idea. Oh God save my mother this time. Ma tell me what to do , give me the strength, i can not live in this problem.